It's 7am in the morning on Sunday January 23. I am currently 24 dpo. 5 weeks 3 days pregnant. I am frightened. Last night I had some pulling sensations behind my belly button. It felt really odd. I also had a few sharp pains in my left ovary the past day or two... this morning around 4am I woke up in bed because of lower abdominal cramping... like menstrual cramps in the uterine area. I'm scared!!!!! I got up and started walking around and the cramping went away. Back to normal. Then I went to bed and went back to sleep and slept on my right side but I woke up again around 630 because I had to have a bowel movement. I took my temp vaginally and it was 98.6. I took it orally and it was 97.7... ?? I don't know what's going on. I'm frightened. Am I going to m/c again? I have no spotting. I have no bleeding. I took 100mg of b6 when I got up at 4am hoping that would help.
Yesterday around 4pm I thought I had a wave of nausea in the car - it lasted breifly followed by gas pains. Wish I knew what was actually "normal" in early pregnancy. I read online that some cramping is 'normal' when your uterus is growing and expanding... but how the heck should I know what is normal?? Up until now, I've never had a successful pregnancy. The first time I got pregnant I thought the cramping I was feeling was normal too... then the bleeding started... then I had to go for an emergency u/s and that's when we discovered that we had miscarried at 9 weeks 3 days and the development had stopped at 5 weeks 3 days... I had a missed miscarriage. My body didn't realize it was over until 4 weeks later when we had that emergency u/s.
Several months later I got pregnant again and miscarried at the same time. 5 weeks 3 days. We had a yolk sac on that u/s. I felt like that was a huge accomplishment. The third m/c was fairly quick. I think my hcg levels were so low to begin with it was over before the 5th week even started.
So here we are again. I don't know what's happening. I was hoping this time was different because I did NOT get night sweats like I did the other times. And my numbers were "wonderful" according to the RE. And my breasts have been tender non-stop and still are. And.... I just don't know what to do. I don't know. My husband and I aren't even making love because we are terrified it will cause a m/c. I read that semen can cause contractions in the uterus to happen and possibly cause a m/c in those with a history of m/c. So there you go. No nookie for us for several weeks now. We both think it's worth it if it keeps us on the safe side.
I don't know what to do. I'm scared. Of COURSE it's Sunday... so nobody is open. Can't get in touch with a doctor. Have you ever heard of such an assanine thing in all your life?! Doctors don't work on Sundays?! Who the hell are we kidding here.. it's not a freaking 9-5 M-F job people!!! WTF?!
But of course. My only option would be the ER and what am I going to say? The last time (same time LASTYEAR) in my second m/c I had really bad cramping and went to the ER told them I was pregnant was cocearned about ectopic. They took my bloodwork and told me my levels were 758. They wouldnt check my progesterone and they didnt do an ultrasound because it was too early. I'm going to have to call the RE tomorrow and let them know. My levels have to be really high right now... I mean they were almost 6,000 at 20 dpo. They've more than doubled a couple times by now... so something must be able to be seen on an u/s. I can't wait another 2 weeks for my first u/s. I'm not scheduled to go until Feb.2. It's only January 23.
Oh God. Please. What is happening? Please give me the grace to accept whatever happens. Please God... please heal my body. Please give my husband the grace to accept whatever happens. He will be a wreck. An absolute WRECK. He's already cried about this because he's so upset we are going to lose another one. We both cried... then we found out our numbers were 'wonderful' and now... who knows. I'm so scared. I don't want to be scared. I shouldn't be scared. I should understand that it's not up to me. It's up to nature or God or the universe... or this baby... it's not something I can control. It's out of my hands... isn't it? Should I start using progesterone suppositories? Should I start taking Prometrium? What should I do? My gut is telling me no. Do not take those things. But then I think... what if... what if that will save my baby? But then I remember the last m/c I had when I did take progesterone suppositories and it did NOTHING and I m/c anyway....
Oh my goodness. I just don't know what to do and now I will be a nervous wreck all day and my husband will be asking me what is wrong and he'll have to guess that I am cramping and yes, we might lose this one too.. and it might be all over before it even begins.
Why do I keep miscarrying at the same time???
So sad. So beside myself. I feel paralyzed. Going to drink lots of water and go lay on the sofa all day while I read books about anything OTHER THAN pregnancy and m/c. Please pray for grace.
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