Soooo... Hmmm... well haven't had a period since that one on October 17... Now I am on CD 44 or something and I've had intermittent LH surges with OPK and no sign of period at all. We've been bd'ing but I'm really confused. :\ Hmmm.. could I be pregnant? :D My opk is very dark positive now for the past two days...but clearly totally negative HPT. So am I ovulating again? Or am I pregnant and its too early to show on HPT... Plus yesterday I had cramping in lower uterus so is it AF coming and taking her time? But why the positive OPKs? Maybe we should bd ... hmmm I have ewcm too. So confused. :\ I had a headache about a week ago and I never get those. Also have break out on my neck and that is atypical as well. Still BF baby girl who is now 14 months and amazing! She is the light of our lives. Still not sleeping through the night. Think we need to give her fewer naps during the day. She still night nurses and nurses when I get home from work and two or three times again before bed and then through out the night as needed. Anyway- I am just still really confused about what my body is doing. I have tons of ewcm and very positive opks for several days. In fact the one line is darker than the test line. But also have very very very negative hpk... I'm talking BFN big time. I did have some lower ueterine cramping the other day which could have been period or a false start to a period or implantation. Well more later as more is revealed to me.

Almost 13 months old and AF returned today! WOO!

Woo! Just got AF today!!! Finally! I actually took a day off from work today because I was mentally messeddddd up! I felt so out of it last night... just like I did that one time I tried to do the progesterone cream and I felt like a pyscho... well I felt that way again last night... just totally depressed and wacky and out of it... and I thought to myself it must be my horomones because this feels just like it did when I did the progesterone cream and had that really bad reaction... sure enough... I got my period today!!! WOWOWOWOW!!!!!!! Soooooooo excited!!!!!! I knew it!! I am SO SO SOOOO glad I didnt wean baby!!! I love to BF her and she loves it too and hubby and inlaws have been saying to wean baby so we can have another... but I insisted that it would return on its own and it did!!! WITHOUT having to fully wean!! Im still night nursing too!!! WWOWOWOW! THIS IS SOOOO GREAT!!!!!!!!! I actually tested really positive on an OPK test about a week or so ago and I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!!! Also I am really happy to know it was in fact horomones making me a loon last night and not just me going crazy lol. Thank you God. Also I am still 10 lbs over my prepregnancy weight. Ugh! I promise to work extra extra hard this month to get those 10lbs off!!! We totally want to get pregnant again and it would work out really well to deliver in or around late september early october again so that's what we are aiming for... which means we better hop to it in December! Happy anniverary lol!!

10 10 wins!

Baby is ten months old and I'm only ten lbs away from prepreg nancy weight! Still breast feeding and bed sharing. Trying to ween so we can get going again with another beautiful baby. Life is great! Baby is sooo pretty and smart and happy! Mommy and daddy doing great too! Xox more later...

Bed Sharing and Breastfeeding

So it's kind of redundant to ask a breastfeeding mother is her baby 'sleeps thru the night'. Why? Because chances are VERY HIGH that mommy is either sleep sharing or bed sharing with her baby while nursing. And that's exactly what we are doing... Baby used to sleep in her MommaRoo and I would get up with her every 2 hours to feed her... That was exhausting... when she got a little bigger... like around 2 months... we decided to give bed-sharing a try... after very careful consideration. I follow Dr. Sears- attachment parenting- and its glorious.

Baby 'sleeps thru the night' since day 1... because I sleep right next to her and nurse here when she schooches around looking for a drink or a snack... and she scooches and coos lightly when she has a diaper that needs to be changed... which I change right there. We have an arm's reach co-sleeper attached to the bed but she doesnt sleep in it... because she sleeps with us. I keep all of her diapers and wipes and things for her in the co-sleeper and just change her right there in bed... with a night light on.

Works for us! Lots of sleep for everyone and no hassles. Safe and good for baby.

The Birth Story

Well here it is... the story of my birth... or my baby's birth to be exact... Sometime in mid-September I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It was a natural birth and delivery. By natural I mean it was not a c-section. It was however, very helpful to have an epidural!!!! For a first time birth. Holy smokes- do not know how any woman can give birth the first time without one. Ugh. It certainly made for a much calmer and more peaceful experience especially when there is a human being tearing out of your lady parts and your body is being split in half. Ouch. Anyway- I labored at home for as long as I could and got to about 5cm which was very painful. So painful I just started crying from the pain. I tried to do hot water and hot showers to quell the pain but all that did was give me 1st degree burns on my skin because it wasn't helping with the pain. I labored 36 hours!! After hour 26 I said give me something!!! I tried stadol- which was heavenly... maybe like a morphine or something... but that only lasts an hour... so then I was like... give me the epi! And than God for that! After about 30 hours I still wasn't progressing from 6cm and the docs said they were going to give me a c-sec... My husband was like... not on your life! I was like... NO WAY!

So I said why don't we try pit first to see if that does it... the doc said OK but it doesnt look good... I said whatever... two hours later I was fully dialated and ready to push! And I pushed for about an hour and 20 minutes... and boom - there was my beautiful baby girl!! AMAZING!!! It was awesome!!!

Can't wait to have another!!! God willing!!