Shooting pain in vagina bone...

So I just had a shooting pain in my vagina bone... pubic bone... ouch.... that can't be a good sign either... just sitting here before class waiting to see if the doc office will call me back with an appointment or any info on what to do next... this wait is killing me. :( UPDATE: I went to the ER and they did an ultrasound and confirmed that our 11 week old baby died at 9 weeks. That's what he measured. 9 weeks. No heart beat... We passed the gestational sac naturally a week later. Very sad.

See spot ruin everything.... Devastated.... Losing hope.

So everything has been pretty quiet over here. No cramps no spotting. Just quiet nice uneventful pregnancy. I am about 10 weeks 4 days today... and yesterday at 10 weeks 3 days... I had a slight cramp in lower uterine area and then when I used the rest room had a streak of pink blood in the cervical mucous. :( I haven't had any bleeding since then. I am so nervous. I think I know it's the beginning of the end .. but how can it be????? We had two ultrasounds done and had a heartbeat on both. Baby looked strong and healthy. What is going on? I know whatever will be will be... but I am in denial. I know if it is not meant to be... it should work itself out the way it should as nature intends... I know if it is for the best... it will end up doing and being whatever it is supposed to do. I just can't shake this undescribable sadness and disappointment right now. I really took it hard last night. I just can't grasp how this could be ending after seeing a heart beat twice and having absolutley no problems between forever and now with this pregnancy... I wonder if nursing my daughter still has contributed to this situation... I am afriad it might have. I have not had any issues with the pregnancy and she has been nursing since I've been pregnant almost non-stop... but she's really been kicking it up a notch with nursing the last week... finally last night of course I did not let her nurse. It broke my heart but I can't take the chance... if that affects pregnancy at all... who knows if it does... what if the body must choose... toddler or baby? Nursing or pregnancy.. it will chose nursing... it will chose the sure thing... so now here I am... Wondering if I just ruined this pregnancy with my stupidity and breast feeding hubris. Thanksgiving is three days away.... we were supposed to tell my inlaws on Thanksgiving as I invited them all over for dinner... have a big reveal planned... I will be 11 weeks then.... a week or two short of my second trimester.... with a baby... a fetus... a real baby and a real heart beat and everything.... What is happening here? I don't know what to think. I just know that cramping is not a bad sign in itself.... bleeding is not always a bad sign in itself... but cramping and then spotting... that's a killer combo right there... that's never a good sign... Now I called the doc office and am waiting to see if they tell me to wait it out... I have an appointment on Dec. 4 or if they will have me come in for an ultrasound to check things out.... I just know when they call me in and US me.... they will tell me - the baby died at 8.5 weeks or 9 weeks and there is no heart beat.... just watch.... I have a gut feeling about this. I don't know why...> Well I do... last wednesday on NOvember 19 I had a god awful head ache.... like nothing I ever felt before... It was possibly a migrane... I never get head aches ever... so that was odd... and I wonder... if that was the day.... when it all went downhill? Now I also know from having 4 miscarriages (and 1 live birth) that spotting and a cramping just like this... is the beginning of the end.... except it has never ever happened to me before when we had a heart beat.... a real live heart beat on a real live baby... My little baby.... my gem.... I wonder where you are and how you are my sweet angel. My dove. My gift. My treasure. My child. My sweet, sweet baby. Please come to me. I promise to care for you and nourish you and bless you and love you all the days of your life. Please know how heart broken I am if you are leaving. And know how much joy you have already brought to me, daddy, and your big sister if only for these much, much, too painfully short few weeks. Love, Mommy.

Saw heartbeat!! Ultrasounds 1 and 2 were great!!

Today I am officially 7 weeks! I was 6 w 6 d yesterday and ultrasound measured right on time. Saw heartbeat flickering away!!!! Still in shock. So happy. Go back again next week for another follow up ultrasound to make sure everything progressing ok. Wow. Blessed. He's here!! I think it's a boy. But it could also be a girl lol! Had a dream I met my teenage son last night. He's cute!! We had the second ultrasound a week later and everything looked TERRIFIC!! Heart beat and measuring right on time!!! YES!!!!

Baby 2? Pregnancy 6.

I'm pregnant! 14 dpo. 35 hcg 16 dpo. 85 hcg 18 dpo. 212 hcg And have u/s scheduled for 10/29/14. So paranoid I will start bleeding before then. Trying to be hopeful. The nurse said it looks really good but I worried the numbers are really low eve if doubling every 48 hours. Only time will tell... Some slight cramps today and a little pukey this morning.

Here we go again ......

That last mc turned into what could only be described as a living hell. It was the worst by far. Those chicken livers turned into grapfruits and chicken breasts and finally passed wah I thought was an ovary. This hard golf ball shaped rubbery mass that I can only assume was the actual gestational sac. Ugh. I bled for forty days. Finally got my period in March. Now here we are... I have new theories on the recurrent mcs. I am almost totally convinced that recurrent mc. Is the result of my husbands vericole in his left testicle. So we figured the new thing to try is a lot of sex and very often to clear out any damaged sperm from the vericole. The vericole hears the teste by half a degree which causes spermy to be malformed and they cause chromosome breakdown in fetus. That is why all of my mcs happen at six weeks. During cell division. So we made sure this month we did it a lot before I ovulated on cd 12, 14, 16, 17 and 18. I ovulated cd 17. I hope this works!!! Right how I am 4dpo and the only sign I have is a hiring pain in my right upper breast. That could be from ok much caffeine or it could be early

Missed miscarriage # 4 blighted ovum again

Well in the midst of passing miscarriage number 4. Another blighted ovum. At 9 weeks I measured only 5.5 weeks. A yolk sac but no fetal pole. I knew back in December something was wrong with brown spotting for a week followed by a red bleed. It stopped until January 13 when I started bleeding like a period. Got blood work hug was 18,533 ultra sound measured as stated above. Blood work again too days later dropped to 12,333. Then today Jan 18 I started passing tissue. This time it's small like chicken livers. Not like the first one. Stewed tomatoes. I am up a awake because after passing clots all day I now feel nauseated and bloated and gassy. Took all's seltzer. And drinking coke. And water. Ugh. Feel like utter shit. Just. Read recurrent blighted ovum could be caused by varicose vein in hubby testicle. My hubby def has that though guess it fairly common. Anyway says that could cause temp hike of .5 degree to make abnormal sperm. Resulting in blighted ovum. I bet that is what the prob is. It doesn't matter. He won't get checked so who cares. Plus I don't think I have the energy for another baby anyway. Though gosh I would love one. But I'm not going to push things right now. I. Tired. Wiped out. Bloated. Sicky. Yuk. Want to curl up in a ball.