Does smiles and eye contact 7.3 weeks

Yeay!! Finally first smiles and eye contact this week. So precious!!! 

Such a gorgeous little guy!!

Wow. Gorgeous baby!! 2 weeks old. Soooo cute. Red head. Lovely face. So handsome. Circumcision looks great. Just editing for belly button to go. Lots of school work I have yet to do. Ugh. 

Babieeeeeee

Omg. Beautiful baby boy. My darling my love!!!!!! Rough labor. Episiotomy. Vacuum. But you are here my dove!!! All so worth it!!! 

1037 Sunday November 8 on way to hospital

Hope we aren't too early. Had six contractions about 6 minutes apart. 

Early labor

So we why to see specter tonight and I am in early labor. I have a contraction every hour for about a minute. My ankles and calves are sooooo sore. Ow. And excited to see baby soon!!!!

Brown discharge and US

Bit of brown discharge this morning was hopeful it was the start of the bloody show but could be nothing. Ultrasound showed 80 head down. That's good. I love you baby boy

Rear end bump

Bumped into a wall with. The car pulling out at work today. Ugh. 

GBS positive. :-(

So now I am terrified because I tested positive for group b strep. How did that even happen??? I also have 4 sebaceous custs on labia. Owwwwww.  Please god I'm so nervous about GBS. It should be fine but I know dh will freak himself out and get worked up if I fill him in I the awful possibilities.  Oh lord. Please help me. 

Sketchers goga mat 3 sneakers

God send. No preggo should be without them. 

34 weeks and sick as a doggie

Oh dear father in heaven have mercy on my soul!! I am sooo beside myself atm. Dd brought a cold home from preschool and now I have it. Can't breathe. Raw throat. Headache. Sooooo pregnant can't take anything. Runny stuffy nose. Just ache all over and can't sleep or get comfortable in bed. Can't breathe!!! This is torture. Please make this cold heal quickly. I love my little guy. I hope he is safe and healthy and happy in there!!! 

Thrombosis hemmies

Hurt like the devil for first three days then the pain goes away. Whew. 198. 32 weeks. Feel good! Still impact and stuff but no more charlie horses for now. Thank God. Baby boy is super active!!!

31 weeks

195. 31 weeks. Walking everyday 3-5 mi. And light strength training too. Can't decide on Oskar. Brooks. Blake. Erik. 

Ouch. Thrombosia

So hemmies are never fun. They are unavoidable in pregnancy even if you have regular BMs. The pressure from baby on uterus on the nether regions mKes hemmies inevitable. Add to that a thrombosed hem and you are in for some major pain. After 72 hours the pain subsides a bit but it's still there too prob after birth. Ugh. 

Impactful

Ugga mugga. Impacted not fun. :-( leg cramps. Not fun. Summer in third trimester not fun! But these are all happy problems to have. 

Walk like a lady!

You'd be so proud of me! I've been walking 3 miles a day 4 days a week during my second and third trimesters! Woo hoo! 

That said I'm still battling charlie horses and feeling very heavy at 191 in week 29. But I've maintained the 190-191 for several weeks now so that's encouraging. Really trying to keep weight gain down from here on in. I've gained about 25 lbs so far. A lot less than I did with your sister! I gained 55 lbs with her by the time I delivered. I had no ex cerise and are what I wanted. Yikes. 

No GD here!

For weight to stabilize at 190 for a week! Low carb walking. Passed three hour glucose test! No GD! 

GD

26 weeks. 192. Walking three miles a day at least 3-4 days per week. Plus light strength training. Still gaining like crazy. I don't get it. 

Deep impact. Not the movie.

Ugh. Sorry TMI. Impacted bows are awful. Disturbing. Yuck. Ugh. Owwww. Wahhhhh. 

Can't breathe. Feet hurt. Love my baby boy.

Ow my left foot is hurting from wearing Jack Rogers sandals. Ugh. I should know better. Dd starts summer preschool academy tomorrow! Excited for her. Just did our back to school shopping. Lunch bag etx. Nasal swelling can't breathe when eating or sleeping or standing. Kicky baby!! I love you my angel boy!!!

A better life

I really just want a better life for my kids and hubby and me. And that ultimately means I need to be a better person. Less neurotic. Less angry. Less stressed and less agitated by everything. It also means I have to get compulsive shopping under control and find ways to destress that don't involve mindlessly spending money on stuff I do not need. Declutter. Streamline. Simplify. Stuff soesnt make you happy. It's just an illusion. You always want more or something better than what you have. Cultivate peace and simplicity. You can't take it with you. But you can leave behind something to help your kids and husband. Please keep working towards it Laney. 

186.7

Been walking 3 mi. A day about 3-4 times a week at work on track. Weight is 186.7 at 23 w and 2 days. Ughha muggah. 

Need to curb weight gain said the girl who had a donut for breakfast lol! 

Still. I've only gained 20lbs. And more than half way there. About 16 weeks left so 16-20 more lbs is likely. Madone lol. 

Eh. Who cares. I love my babie boy!!! And I'm carrying the weight well and at least I'm exercising this time! 

Ow

Some pulling in lower left and pains in vagina. Ow lol. Otherwise ok. Just round ligament pain. Oskar is very active!!

181 22 w 1 d

Not much news here to report. Baby kicking like a little kicker. So cute!!!! My weight gain is under control thanks to 3mi. Walks three times a week at work on the track. 

Kick kick!!

Kicky kicky !! :) xox

Got the name!!

Think we have our boy name! Mebbe. 

Names

NOk this is the really hard part. I had a great girls name picked out but boys names are tough!! 

Some contenders:

Oscar I like this one a lot but hubby no

William eh 

Liam it nice but fairly common?

Ethan not crazy about it but hubby likes 

Quentin ditto 

Dean much like my own name which I like for a son! And it's cute and nice! 

Henry. My dd likes this one a lot. I do too but it seems a little cloyingly sweet. But I do love old man named on young guys. That's really cute!!!

It's funny I guess that dream I had about having a teenage son was right! And when I was pregnant with my dd I had a dream I had a little girl who looked like me! 

Dreams do come true lol! 

The anatomy scab went well. It looks like everything will really be ok. 

Well I'll be!!! What in the world?! Hahaha!!

It's a boy!!!!!!!!!!! Shocked and amazed. Wowowow!!! Was NOT expecting that!!! Wow!!! 

Ultrasound 19w 2 d

Later this keening I have my anatomy ultra sound. Excited to see what is going on. Nervous too. Guess we also find out gender today too. That's exciting lol. So mixed on how to feel. On one hand I feel like another girl would be soooo soooo awesome and Amazon and wonderful and what I've always wanted. On the other I will prob grieve a bit for the boy I never had. On the one hand I will be shocked and amazed if it is a boy. But will grieve uncontrollably for the little girl I wanted to have as a little sister for DD. My girls will always be with me. My boy will leave me one day for a wife. My girls are my best friends. My little man will be a new adventure to try to figure out. 

So many emotions. I'm really not sure how to feel. I can tell you whomever it is is very active and kicky!!!! My little darling is a little ninja in there!!! I love the little kicks and feel so close to baby already xoxxoxoxoxox

1:160 odds

So I really think the nurse practitioner I have is useless. I found out today that my odds for having a baby with ds are 1:160. That's really freaking good! Plus the comment from the lab was "lower risk for ds than based on age alone" which is also really very good. That means normally a 40 year old woman has a 1:65 chance of having a baby with ds. This was  good news today. 

Abnormal quad screen

So on Friday I got a call from the nurse who said that three of the four screens came back negative but the one for Down syndrome came back positive. I said ok. Thanks for letting me know. I kind of figured based on my age alone it would come back positive. No big deal. And it really is no big deal because I know that the quad screen is not always correct. It can give a positive result of you are overweight. Which I am. If the fetus age is wrong. Which it certainly could be. And it will always give a positive result of you are over 35! And I am now 40. Based on those factors combined with the maternal serum markers they look for - you'll get a positive screen. This doesn't mean your baby will have a birth defect. Just that you are at higher risk (duh) for possibly carrying a baby with one. 

We go for our ultrasound next week on June 16 to find out more. Which has prompted a great heart to heart convo with my bub. We will love and care for this child. It will not be an easy road but that's life. Deal with it. Life is precious. I alone can not conjure life. 

So no more worrying about that until the ultra sound. I did have a field day researching the quad screen. I am highly disappointed with the lack of education prior to receiving the notes. I  also extremely turned off by the ding dong nurse practitioner who delivered the news in such a stupid way. She just said you tested positive for downs. That's it. And said I could explore my options with maternal fetal medicine next week. Whhhhhaaatttt. Thanks for not stating this was a screening ONLY and not. G damn diagnostic test. Thanks for not giving me the actual ratio or the actual results and numbers from the serum screening to assess my risk. For all i know I could have a 1:80 or 1:10 risk which is not very risky. 

Also I checked my hcg levels from 9.5 weeks which were 120,000 and fall right in the median for hcg at that time. This is a good news item. Because typically ds presents with double hcg in ds babies. 

Kicky kicky

So many teeny kicks!! Hr was 148 today and I'm approx. 17 weeks 5 days. 

Weight is 175

10 pound gain so far and just in the last month 

Blood pressure good 

They keep saying my due date is nov 8 but I say nov 12 or 16. 

Kick me pleaseeeeeeeee 16w 2d with # 2.

Ok so about 16w 2d today... my weight has already caught up to me at an alarming rate!!! BAH!!! I am about 172lbs today... or yesterday... after memorial day weekend...so back on the wagon today and trying to eat clean.... It does look like mostly belly but I can see my thighs and hips sticking out even with the mommy spanx on! Which by the way I am wearing every day instead of underwear... I highly recommend... so comfy and no panty lines!

I did feel some teeny tiny kicks in week 14 two days in a row... then nothing... then in week 15 I felt them again one day... and I am pretty sure I felt them again this past weekend... but nothing since...so of course that makes me a little nervous... :P

Tried to listen for heartbeat with iphone app... but its not the greatest ....
next appointment isnt until June 4... and then find out sex on June 16!!!- I will be 19 weeks and 3 dyas then... but really could probably find out gender now... just htat my appointment is so far off... ughhhh lol!! give me patience... I just hope baby is ok... I'm nervous but trying to relax... my boobs are still killing me and are very very heavy.... but other than that no other symptoms... I keep breaking out on my left chin/neck area... ugh... trying to do little weight training with 8lb and 5lb weights every few days for my arms and some squats and stuff.... belly is HUGE... belly button has already popped lol!!

stay tuned for more stuff later....

Looking Good!

I don't know if I updated lately but the ultra sounds was AMAZING!!! I was sooooo excited to see this beautiful little baby alive and kicking in there... so so so so cute!!! So I measured 11 weeks 2 days at that visit on April 21 2015... now I am about 15 weeks 2 days today... we find out in June if we are having a boy or girl... last week I did feel some little teeny tiny kicks!!! Nothing this week but I guess it all depends on baby position in there.... so excited... so fun!!! SO AMAZING!!!
Taking:
Prenatal with DHA
Baby aspirin
Folic Acid
B6
B12

No coffee for first 12 weeks... then just one or two lattes since then... weight is 168... I started off at 170 back in February so I lost weight... went down to 162... then just slowly crept back up to 168 today... sooo constipated but found that drinking water first thing in morning helps ALOT.

No complaints... heavy boobs... look pretty good all over... not as fat and swelled as I was with #1.

Waiting to get taken in for an early grand vag ultrasound. Nervous. Wonder if everything ok or business as usual. Are you ok there baby? M father in law died last night unexpectedly. I hope I please have good news to share not more bad or par for the course. Blah ugh. Waiting sux. Oh happy 40th bday!!! Kinda weird this year with all this other stuff g

Ultrasound time

Waiting to get taken in for an early grand vag ultrasound. Nervous. Wonder if everything ok or business as usual. Are you ok there baby? M father in law died last night unexpectedly. I hope I please have good news to share not more bad or par for the course. Blah ugh. Waiting sux. Oh happy 40th bday!!! Kinda weird this year with all this other stuff going on. Ugh.

120,553 hcg 9w4d

My hcg today at 9 weeks 5 days ish is 120,533. I emailed the re to see if I can get an ultrasound. I don't know what those numbers mean and I want to know if viable or not.

7w 5d and holding

nothing new just checking in. Wonder if this pregnancy will stick.... Just waiting out the days.. If imake it to April 10. Good. That's further then my last miscarriage. If I. Make it to April 19. Even better that's further the. The miscarriage before that. If I make it to April 24 at least I will have survived my 40th bday with out another mc. If I make it to May 1 that will be out of first trimester.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting....
Tomorrow is April fools day. Hope I won't be a fool. Of a took.

7 weeks

I'm supposedly 7 weeks and holding. Have had bouts of nausea that come and go for the past several weeks. Tired a lot taking naps daily. Some minor xranping or more like activity below. Some minor lower back pain yesterday like a dull ache so Im not sure if that's good or not. Prob Not but trying to stay positive.  No bloodwork this time. No ultrasounds. No thanks. Too much money and for what? If things don't fare well there is nothing I can do or anyone else can do so why throw money at it be uses miscarriages get expensive fast. At least 2K with deductibles and copays.

Taking folic acid. Prenatal. B6 and baby aspirin every day.  No breastfeeding. Just a dibble dab once a day for toddles which is literally three seconds on each boobie. She's doing great. I do feel sicky almost daily not sure if that ms or just in my head.

Exceptionally stressed out at work. Trying to stay positive. Too much stuff to do with school work. Work work. House work. Etc. wow. I wonder if this pregnancy is really going to happen? It feels fairly solid but what do I know. I've been pregnant seven times with one live birth. Just have to wait and see but for how long?? Last mc the baby died at 9.5 weeks and I startred spotting a week later. Then passed the whole thing the next week which was painful. Just like real labor. The exact feeling. Funny how size has nothing to doc with the intensity of the pain. It was the same labor pain I had with my toddles.

I also have avoided coffee and tea. No caffeine. And have been doing an Atkins diet though I have to say that eggs are making me feel a little chokey. I can't keep doin Atkins forever. It makes me feel queasy after a week or two.

No other symptoms really except zit on forehead. Some minor uterine activity some nausea some tiredness. No peeing a lot prob because I am chronically dehydratwd. 😜 😳 definitely constipated but tha could be from atkins.

Not sure when in going to call the doc office. Guess I will wait until week 10? 11? 13? That would put me at May 7. That would be the start of week 13 or at least out of first trimester...

The sucky part is that week 11 is my birthday week. I turn the big 4-0. But I hope it's not like happy birthday!!! Youre having a miscarriage!!! That's would be awful. But I'll get through it. Blah. Stay positive laney. Stay positive.

Holy heck... again?! Here we go again.... arghh and weee... and omgosh... whhhhatttt????

Well here we are on March 1, 2015  ..... and I'm pregnant again... madone... this is pregnancy number 7. lol... AHHHHH!!! I only have this reaction because of my history of RPL not because I am not excited... I am so excited... I so so so so so badly want this to be a healthy happy pregancy that results in a happy healthy baby... and mommy... and dadddy... and big sistery.... please God... please help us. I can't tell for sure when conception occured but I did log the following:

Last Period - CD 25 (second period after the miscarriage in December)
CD 1 - January 29
CD 5 - BD - February 2
CD 7 - BD - February 4
CD 12 - BD - Febryary 9
CD 18 - Copious EWCM -February 15 super duper a lot and never saw it like that before
CD 19 - BD - February 16
CD 21 - BD - February 18
CD 25 - February 22 lots of ovary twinges in left ovary
CD 27 - February 24 ovary pings and a zit on forehead which is unusual for me
CD 29 - February 26 ovary pings left and right and mostly right barthelonian bump on right lmajora - yellow cm (first clue!) plus my period should have come on either CD 26 or CD 32
CD 31 - February 28 - everything every smell making me sick to my stomach
CD 32 - March 1 - I'm late... or my period should be here tomorrow I think... so... in the middle of the day at 3:30 pm... after drinking lots of water....

So I could have ovulated on CD 19 or CD 21... ideally I ovulated on CD 21 or 22 because that would mean fresh sperm.... CD 19 is ok too but the sperm will have been 7 days old... :\
unless I sneaked a little jump in there... lol... sooo... ideal scenario ovulated on CD 21... that would be perfect... it's really all we could ask for... so I'm going with it...

That would put me currently at either (worst case) 13 DPO - in which case... my very faint pregnancy test is not a good sign... or (best case) 11 DPO... which is still iffy considering how faint the test is.... still... maybe it will be dark tomorrow morning... ugh. Or maybe I just see an evaporated line... who knows.... ugh ugh ugh... wonder if I should call and see if I can get HCG done in a week or so... 

January - New Year - New You

So we did miscarry in December - not sure if I posted that here yet or not... It was different than the previous miscarriages. This time I did have the light brown spotting... streaks of pink... at first... like threads of pink so barely noticeable but I noticed them in the mucous... Then it turned to a bright red bleed like a period. Note to self: DO NOT GO TO ER when you are having an MC. Note to self: DO NOT seek medical care when you find out you are pregnant until you get to at least 12 weeks. Note to self: Repeat miscarriages are expensive. Yeah. So we had 2 in 2014. It cost us upward of $4,000 total. That's a lot of money and no baby. And honestly I recvd NO medical care or treatment... just watchful waiting. Please. I can do that at home on my own for free. The only thing I would consider doing is the bloodwork to follow the HCG to zero. But this was actually the swiftest MC we've had. I started noticeably spotting on Sunday November 23. Monday November 24 it turned into a period bleed. Just bleeding no pain... Bled like that for a week until Monday December 1. After two very painful hours of labor (just like the labor pains I had with my now three year old kid) I "gave birth" to a large grapefruit sized gestational sac in the toilet. Caught it with a strainer. It was a mass that was covered in blood and fluids so you couldn't see inside and I certainly didn't want to disturb it or open it up or wash it off or anything. So we said our thoughts and prayers and let it go. I'm glad we did that. I felt better immediately afterwards physically. Mentally and emotionally things really sucked for about a month... the holidays were rough. We put on a brave face for Thanksgiving. Christmas was OK but kind of sad... and then now here we are in the New Year... with lots of stupid medical bills for another miscarriage. Awesome. Anyway... I bled heavily for a week after mc and then just spotting here and there until Dec. 15 with some again on Dec. 20 and then I was in the clear... I kept going for bloodwork to check HCG until January 5 when it was down to 2.5 so that was the last time we checked and now I am over the most recent period which began Jan. 9 and last for a week or so... and now here we are... so here's to a new year and hopefully a new baby - BUT FIRST... an important announcement to make... It is time for me to be prudent and lose weight and get out of debt!!!