Kick kick!!

Kicky kicky !! :) xox

Got the name!!

Think we have our boy name! Mebbe. 

Names

NOk this is the really hard part. I had a great girls name picked out but boys names are tough!! 

Some contenders:

Oscar I like this one a lot but hubby no

William eh 

Liam it nice but fairly common?

Ethan not crazy about it but hubby likes 

Quentin ditto 

Dean much like my own name which I like for a son! And it's cute and nice! 

Henry. My dd likes this one a lot. I do too but it seems a little cloyingly sweet. But I do love old man named on young guys. That's really cute!!!

It's funny I guess that dream I had about having a teenage son was right! And when I was pregnant with my dd I had a dream I had a little girl who looked like me! 

Dreams do come true lol! 

The anatomy scab went well. It looks like everything will really be ok. 

Well I'll be!!! What in the world?! Hahaha!!

It's a boy!!!!!!!!!!! Shocked and amazed. Wowowow!!! Was NOT expecting that!!! Wow!!! 

Ultrasound 19w 2 d

Later this keening I have my anatomy ultra sound. Excited to see what is going on. Nervous too. Guess we also find out gender today too. That's exciting lol. So mixed on how to feel. On one hand I feel like another girl would be soooo soooo awesome and Amazon and wonderful and what I've always wanted. On the other I will prob grieve a bit for the boy I never had. On the one hand I will be shocked and amazed if it is a boy. But will grieve uncontrollably for the little girl I wanted to have as a little sister for DD. My girls will always be with me. My boy will leave me one day for a wife. My girls are my best friends. My little man will be a new adventure to try to figure out. 

So many emotions. I'm really not sure how to feel. I can tell you whomever it is is very active and kicky!!!! My little darling is a little ninja in there!!! I love the little kicks and feel so close to baby already xoxxoxoxoxox

1:160 odds

So I really think the nurse practitioner I have is useless. I found out today that my odds for having a baby with ds are 1:160. That's really freaking good! Plus the comment from the lab was "lower risk for ds than based on age alone" which is also really very good. That means normally a 40 year old woman has a 1:65 chance of having a baby with ds. This was  good news today. 

Abnormal quad screen

So on Friday I got a call from the nurse who said that three of the four screens came back negative but the one for Down syndrome came back positive. I said ok. Thanks for letting me know. I kind of figured based on my age alone it would come back positive. No big deal. And it really is no big deal because I know that the quad screen is not always correct. It can give a positive result of you are overweight. Which I am. If the fetus age is wrong. Which it certainly could be. And it will always give a positive result of you are over 35! And I am now 40. Based on those factors combined with the maternal serum markers they look for - you'll get a positive screen. This doesn't mean your baby will have a birth defect. Just that you are at higher risk (duh) for possibly carrying a baby with one. 

We go for our ultrasound next week on June 16 to find out more. Which has prompted a great heart to heart convo with my bub. We will love and care for this child. It will not be an easy road but that's life. Deal with it. Life is precious. I alone can not conjure life. 

So no more worrying about that until the ultra sound. I did have a field day researching the quad screen. I am highly disappointed with the lack of education prior to receiving the notes. I  also extremely turned off by the ding dong nurse practitioner who delivered the news in such a stupid way. She just said you tested positive for downs. That's it. And said I could explore my options with maternal fetal medicine next week. Whhhhhaaatttt. Thanks for not stating this was a screening ONLY and not. G damn diagnostic test. Thanks for not giving me the actual ratio or the actual results and numbers from the serum screening to assess my risk. For all i know I could have a 1:80 or 1:10 risk which is not very risky. 

Also I checked my hcg levels from 9.5 weeks which were 120,000 and fall right in the median for hcg at that time. This is a good news item. Because typically ds presents with double hcg in ds babies. 

Kicky kicky

So many teeny kicks!! Hr was 148 today and I'm approx. 17 weeks 5 days. 

Weight is 175

10 pound gain so far and just in the last month 

Blood pressure good 

They keep saying my due date is nov 8 but I say nov 12 or 16.