Sunday... Sunday....

Well... it's officially three days until our first u/s!!!! I can't believe it's almost here already. I'm very nervous and excited!!! I keep thinking it's going to be ok.. I mean it has to be! I'm already half-way through 6 weeks and still have very tender breasts (ouch!!!) and mild cramping nearly every day on and off... mostly at night... I can see/feel my uterus is moving up over my pubic bone too. I sure do hope everything is ok either way. I have no idea what to expect on Wednesday or what my reaction will be. Will I be stunned by good news or crushed by bad? If it's good will I react or be in shock? Will I cry or just act like nonchalant? If it's bad will I cry or be crushed? Probably... I've been down that road three times already so I know what my reaction will be to that. But wow- so yeah. That's where I am at mentally!

Physically feel pretty good today. I'm so mad at myself for being overweight to begin with. I can't believe I let myself get so big!!!! I'm 148 and only 5'3. My husband thinks I look gorgeous and fleshy but my bmi is like 26.1 or something! Ugh! At my best my bmi was around 21 or 22 I think I weighed 116.. but I had to work really hard at it and try not to eat more than 1000 cals a day to stay that way... I looked great at 135 on my wedding day... but then after three years of marriage and three miscarriages... my horomones and some slight depression from the losses - I ballooned up to 152... I got back down to 148 a few weeks ago from going to the gym for 2 weeks... but now I'm back to around 150. Ugh. On top of that I'll be gaining about 25 pounds of pregnancy weight. Yipe! lol. Guess I'm going to push it to the limit! I want to gain as little weight as possible.. 25 is the MAX.. I would hope not to gain more than 15 or 20... I'm already a little oompa loompa. :(

But so what! Who cares! I'll do it all happily for our little bean! Are you in there babie?
Time to clean the house.. the bathroom and the kitchen are well overdue for a clean up and of course we still have our Christmas decorations and tree up because we keep them up until Chinese New Year... I think it's Feb. 4 or 6 this year. So those will come down NEXT weekend!

Off to clean...